8 tips for quitting your physician job artfully
By Lalita Abhyankar, M.D., M.H.S., FAAFP
My first job out of residency was at a federally qualified health center in Brooklyn, New York. The learning curve was phenomenal. Under wonderful mentorship, I built confidence in clinical outpatient medicine. However, after three years, the changes, the churn, and the shift in my priorities made me realize that it was time to go.
At first, I tried to find ways to stay by changing hours, taking on grant projects and diversifying my activities outside of work. After much agonizing, I realized that though I valued my patients, colleagues and the work we did together, I had simply outgrown the role.
For many professionals, and especially physicians, “quitting” feels like a last resort. After all, we didn’t get this far by quitting. But that also means we don’t know how to do this essential skill purposefully and gracefully. There's value in walking away for yourself, and there’s even more value in doing it well. If you’re curious about your next career steps, here are the eight things I learned in the process of quitting my job.
#1. Remember who you are.
Your interests may have shifted since pre-med, but there was a kernel of truth to whatever big picture goal existed then. There is a good chance that you lost touch with it in the weeds of training. Take some time to remember and to rebuild your passions and interests that may have been stripped throughout training.
In Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, she focuses on two principles:
The first is morning pages, a three-page free writing session every morning to “clean the cobwebs” of cluttering thoughts.
The second is to schedule a weekly artist’s date, a block of time once a week where you, solo, explore a passion without expectation. For example, take yourself to your favorite museum, work on an art project or learn something you’ve missed learning about. It’s a great way to tap back into what makes you, you.
#2. Recognize you have choices.
Throughout undergrad, med school and residency, it’s easy to get caught up in completing requirements and following “next steps.” In the real world, there is so much more uncertainty and so many more choices. Even more surprising, you now have the power to choose what you want. This is also true in an increasingly corporate clinical environment.
The choice we have isn’t between one corporate job or another at a large health system. As professionals, our choice is between having an independent practice (I say this while understanding how difficult it can be in this landscape) and being an employed physician. If employment is your goal, understand that you can come to the table with the mindset that there are always other options. Your career gets to look like what you want it to look like.
#3 Reclaim your agency.
Lalita Abhyankar, M.D., M.H.S., FAAFP, offers a personal example of reconnecting to your passions and interests in her watercolor of a path through the trees.
You are your best advocate.
In line with the above, the apprentice-like model of training that characterizes medicine often creates a disconnect with our autonomy and agency. There is a benefit to this model while we’re learning; having an attending to rely on is healthy and comforting as a resident. However, remember that your employer is not your attending or mentor.
Most managers are looking out for you, but their primary job is not to teach or ensure your well-being. Like the oxygen mask on airplanes analogy, you have to know how and when to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. You get to decide what that looks like.
In this capacity, consider taking some time off to get clarity either before or after quitting. My self-advocacy was also about convincing myself, in the face of familial opinions, to take space after quitting so that I didn’t just jump back into the grind and continue to run on empty. The space allowed me to be intentional about what I wanted next.
#4. Clarify your goals.
Your inspiration to leave might be about walking away from a toxic work culture or lack of opportunities. But it always feels better to leave if you know you are walking toward something. Be clear about what you are looking for.
- Do you want to do more inpatient care?
- Do you miss prenatal care?
- Do you want more CQI work?
- Do you want to write, or to learn management and leadership?
Create a loose narrative of what that future looks like. As you flesh it out, you might be surprised. That exact opportunity could exist at your organization; you just didn’t know to ask before. Or, more likely, visualizing this future could set you toward exploring paths that weren’t even on your radar.
Finding a coach to help you sort through your passions and find your North Star can be an incredibly helpful way to understand what your next step — and your ask — is. I’ve used the free coaching services offered at the AAFP’s Family Medicine Experience, as well as longer coaching relationships, to help me clarify my goals.
Find a Career Coach with AAFP CareerLink
#5. Ask for what you want.
If you realize what you want does exist with your current employer, ask for it.
While at the FQHC, I started working on a grant project that had components of what I wanted to learn in EHR development and informatics. I knew I wanted to continue the work, but I didn’t want to stay on as a full-time clinician to do it. So when I notified my managers of my intention to leave, I took a chance and asked to continue on the grant as they searched for my replacement. Thankfully, we made it work. The experience was valuable and also provided me with a small income during my time off.
It never hurts to ask in good faith. If you’re not sure how to ask, consider a session with a negotiation coach to get you pumped up!
#6. Be kind to your managers.
If you’ve had a good working relationship with your manager, it’s in everyone’s best interest to leave amicably. Even if you haven’t had a good relationship, the crux of quitting well is to at least try to leave on good terms. Schedule a formal meeting with them to make it clear that something’s up. Try to do it with their convenience in mind, but also within a week of asking so that you’re not sitting on your decision for too long. Have your future narrative ready.
It helps indicate to your manager that you’ve tried to explore opportunities for your interests and ambitions within your current job but don’t see a path to achieve them. Luckily, in my case, by the time I finished telling my managers what I envisioned for my future, they actually seemed excited for me to take the next step.
#7. Give enough notice.
You may be leaving because of bad experiences on the job, and leaving quickly may be the best way to go. If that is the best option, try to do it as gently as possible to not affect morale of other staff members.
Check your contract to see how much notice you have to give before you leave. It may be at will, it may be six months. I was told by a few primary care managers that two to three months is courteous notice. Giving full notice allows your employer to find a replacement for you within a reasonable period of time. I chose a three-month window to create transition plans and say goodbye to my patients, which led to some really beautiful shared moments of closure. A one- to two-month window might be sufficient, especially if it’s more important to leave than to stay.
#8. Ask for an exit interview, and be constructive.
If there’s not already an opportunity for an exit interview, ask for one, and ask to actually speak with a human resources representative. Talking it out can flag issues that a simple exit survey often doesn’t.
Give feedback that is more than a laundry list of complaints. Identify where they currently stand, both culturally and organizationally, where you think they could be, and offer ideas on how to bridge that gap. They may not take any of your feedback, but having this conversation can make the quitting experience feel more meaningful and complete.
Settling into the future
The biggest challenge is choosing to say goodbye to patients who had shaped my practice in some way. It feels like abandoning a relationship that is based on trust and longevity, an agonizing feeling for a young family physician with lofty principles and big dreams.
The biggest thing I had to reconcile, and it has served me well as I have explored other clinical practices, is the belief that I do my best work to support patients in an environment that is the best for me.
What I didn’t want to do was to create an excuse to leave: Sometimes leaving is the only option, if you’re moving cities or countries for example, or if the hours don’t work with other personal obligations, quitting a job and finding a new one is a no-brainer. But I’ve seen colleagues jump from one limiting situation to another without taking the time to understand what expansion or opportunity might be fulfilling for them.
Using the process of quitting to make meaning is, I think, the point of walking into the future.
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The opinions and views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the opinions and views of the American Academy of Family Physicians. This blog is not intended to provide medical, financial, or legal advice. All comments are moderated and will be removed if they violate our Terms of Use.