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Saturday Jun 20, 2015

Father's Day Flashback: Lessons Learned From Dads

I have been blessed with many father figures in my life, and each one has shared valuable wisdom that has helped me become a better physician, a better leader and a better person. In honor of Father's Day, and fathers everywhere, I want to pay tribute to the special fathers in my life by sharing some of their wisdom.

My great grandfather, Charles Light, was a Mennonite minister. My first memories of him were of a gentle man who lived simply on a farm and enjoyed quilting. He was a member of the Hereford Dairy Project(www.agritv.co.za) and sailed on that initiative's first trips that brought animals to those living in poverty so they would have sustainable means to provide food and income for their families. He showed me the wisdom of paying it forward.

My great grandpa Otto McBride was a carpenter. My first memories of him were of his wonderful smile, which extended over his entire face and into his eyes. He could create anything with his hands. I still have the cedar chest he built for my grandma to keep my mother’s baby clothes in. He showed me the wisdom of building your own future.

My other great grandpa, Thomas Lloyd, owned his own shoe store in Racine, Wis. My first memories of him were of playing with the hundreds of seashells that he would collect in Florida and bring back home in jars. He showed me the wisdom of appreciating the beauty in nature.

My grandpa Don Beckenbaugh was a salesman in the Midwest who retired and moved to southern California. Six months after his retirement, he was offered a job selling real estate. Six months after that he became a broker who managed a successful real estate business in Laguna Niguel for 20 years. He was also committed to keeping his large family connected, and every time we had a gathering, he would go around the table and make everyone stand up and give a short speech to share what was new in their life. (That was the old-fashioned version of Facebook). He showed me the wisdom of believing in yourself.

My other grandpa, Allen Light, was a salesman who lived his entire life in the Midwest, which allowed me to spend holidays and summer vacations at his home for more than 40 years. He had a great sense of humor and a sharp wit and was an avid gardener and winemaker. He had a strong faith in God and held the importance of family above all other things. He took care of me when I was a baby, and he helped take care of my babies when I became a mom. He always took an active interest in whatever I did in my personal and professional life. When he developed cancer at the end of his life, he taught me what is was like to be a patient. He showed me that the burden of disease cannot break your spirit, but also that it cannot exceed your capability to live with disease. He showed me the wisdom of allowing faith, hope and love to guide your life.

My dad, Bob Beckenbaugh, is a recently retired hand surgeon. He was the first one to introduce me to medicine and show me how physicians can make a difference in the life of others. Dad also taught me to appreciate the power of humor and the importance of having fun. He taught me to laugh and tell jokes and to  swim, water ski and snow ski. He even tried to teach me to play golf, but he says I "hit the big ball (planet Earth) more than the little ball (the golf ball)." Most of all, my dad taught me that taking care of other people is the most important service you can do with your life, and that as a physician, patients should always be treated with courtesy and respect. My dad showed me the wisdom of keeping joy in your life and striving for excellence in caring for others.

For the past 36 years, I have been blessed with another dad, my father-in-law Ted Lillie Sr. He is a retired small business owner who cares deeply for his family and strives to help those who are less fortunate then himself. He taught my husband to be a wonderful father, and he has shown me the wisdom of perseverance in the face of adversity.

So this month, I say thank you to all my fathers, and thank you to fathers everywhere who take the time to make a difference in the lives of others.

Lynne Lillie, M.D., is a member of the AAFP Board of Directors.

Posted at 04:42PM Jun 20, 2015 by Lynne Lillie, M.D.

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