Putting on Our Own Oxygen Masks First

It was a busy afternoon precepting four upper-level residents and seeing a combined 36 scheduled patients. At the end of the session, one of the residents (Dr. Ly) came in to see me (Dr. Fogarty) to review how the day had gone. She had just finished seeing patients — a mix of maternity, mental health, chronic care, and new patient visits. I could tell she was harried, so I wanted to check in.

“How are you doing?” I asked. “How are you feeling in your mind? How about your body?”

No one had ever asked me (Dr. Ly) how I was feeling in quite that way, so the questions threw me off guard. I had been so focused on patient concerns all afternoon that I hadn’t considered how I felt. When I paused to think about it, I noticed my stomach rumbling and wondered when I had last eaten. My throat was dry from talking to patients, which reminded me that I hadn’t had anything to drink since the session started. And I realized I needed to use the bathroom.

“I’m doing pretty good,” I said, finally. “I do have to pee — but I can do that when we’re done here.”

Dr. Fogarty replied, “I just had this same conversation with another resident and sent her to the bathroom. It’s important to me that you take care of yourself and then we can both focus on reviewing your afternoon.”

When I finally took care of this “errand,” I felt I could breathe again. I hadn’t realized I’d been holding onto anxiety and frustration. Returning to our meeting, I felt calmer and more clear-headed.

This impulse to finish our “doctor work” before taking care of our basic bodily needs is all too common in medicine — even in the younger generations of physicians, who often do a better job of developing boundaries between their work and personal life.

During training, we have all likely held our bladders as we took care of patients, or carried granola bars or other no-mess snacks in our pockets to be prepared for the frequent occasions when we had no time for lunch. Even once we enter practice, we can still find ourselves resisting our own needs, especially when we’re feeling stressed or running late. In these moments, I’ve learned to stay mindful and internally coach myself that, “Colleen, it’s really okay to pee.”